My husband is a state worker, and let me just say we are so bummed that we won't be leaching off the majestic tax payer teat like we have been.
How ever shall we keep up the mortgage payment on our pelatio 965 square foot chateau? What? No dear, I didn't leave out any numbers. You read it right. A sprawling 965 square feet that we use to dance around in piles of your tax money (in the form of nickels). We make a pile of nickels that we did not rightfully earn and roll around in them and laugh at the stupidity of Wisconsin taxpayers. "Ha ha!" we shriek with glee, as the nickels find their way into our sweaty crevices. After we're done picking the nickels out of our fat-with-taxpayer-funded-food bodies, we watch TV on a state-of-the-art standard definition tube TV that my parents bought us in 2002. Suck it! You're so fucking jealous!
We buy Pampers instead of store brand because we're so fucking loaded.
Every day I drive to work in my luxury 2003 Pontiac Vibe with a busted headlamp and as I speed down the highway with my rip-roaring 4 cylinder engine, I chuckle heartily to myself that all you stupid taxpayers have financed the high life for me and my family.
But alas, now we will have to change our ways. No more lavish visits to Target. No more gourmet meals at McDonalds. We'll have to pinch pennies like the rest of the peasants. Tisk tisk.
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