The Books That Describe My Life

In school I was: Running with Scissors (Augusten Burroughs)

People might be surprised I’m: Totally Disgusting (Bill Wallace)

I will never be: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Stieg Larsson)

My fantasy job is: To Kill a Mockingbird (Harper Lee)

At the end of a long day I need: Reasons to Live (Amy Hempel)

I hate it when: Oranges are Not the Only Fruit (Jeanette Winterson)

Wish I had: Great Expectations (Charles Dickens)

My family reunions are: Love Medicine (Louise Erdrich)

At a party you’d find me with: James and the Giant Peach (Roald Dahl)

I’ve never been to: The House on Mango Street (Sandra Cisneros)

A happy day includes: Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs (Chuck Klosterman)

Motto I live by: Don't Sleep with Your Drummer (Jen Sincero)

On my bucket list: Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls (David Sedaris)

In my next life, I want to be: Yertle the Turtle (Dr. Seuss)

Beginning Biking Day Two

Day two was so much better than day one. I bought a padded bike seat, skipped wearing the backpack and avoided the evil pedestrian bridge. And my friend, a seasoned cyclist, accompanied me on a ride that ended up totaling 3 miles. And I feel leaps and bounds better than I did on Sunday with my one mile torture session.

I'm really crabby post-ride, but that might be do to other factors, like I think I'm about to ride the crimson wave.

Beginning Biking, Day One

Last time I rode a bike was approximately 2006 or 2007. So, about 6 to 7 years ago, maybe more.

I got a new job, which is within biking distance, and because there's no parking, it sort of requires a non-automobile commute.

Got my bike all fixed up by my good friend, and took my first test ride.

Distance of about one mile, lots and lots of coasting. Worst part was biking to the top of the pedestrian/bike bridge. Thought I was going to die. My ass hurt the entire time...well, not my ass, but more like where my thighs meet my vaginal area. My legs went numb. I feel like I'm going to vomit. I took about a 5 minute break at the top of the bridge and then went back down, riding the brakes the entire way because I'm so terrified.

I hope this feeling of puking, numb legs and sore ass is temporary. Is there an "It Gets Better" video for riding your bike?

Ode to the Pink Warrior

Is every single person who has ever gotten cancer been "strong" and "brave" and whatnot? There has to be at least a handful of people who were frightened and weak.

It's not like if I suddenly got cancer tomorrow I'd turn into a warrior woman with a pink bandanna around my head.

Maybe I hate the color pink. Maybe I'd be too scared to go to the doctor. Maybe giving me a Beanie Baby that claims I am beautiful and tough isn't what would help me at all and just make me feel worse because, for one, I'm not six and for two, I don't need to be beautiful or strong, I need to be allowed to be vulnerable. Even if it makes you feel uncomfortable because there isn't a bracelet that says "scaredy cat" on it at Hallmark.

I think we've over-used certain terms when it comes to people with terminal illness. We've pigeonholed them into superhero status, and while surviving such an illness is an incredible and life changing experience, they are, after all, people. And furthermore, the ones who don't survive might have battled harder than the survivors. "You can beat this!" Um, maybe you can't. Fight on, but lets quit it with all the generic empowerment garbage. It's not helping.

We need to back off a little bit and allow people to feel the full spectrum of their feelings. And definitely knock it off with the cutesy shit.